Hello, chaps! I got back from Aspen a few weeks ago, and I'm still flying high on the smashing memories of a terrific trip. Honestly, I could have stayed in my super room at the Sky Hotel for the entire time, but Aspen is there to be enjoyed, and enjoy it I did!

Hallo there! It's the Roaming Gnome here. I just go back from a trip to Utah, and boy, do I have a recap for you.

Hello there, Window Seat Readers! It's the Travelocity Roaming Gnome here. I’ve just got back from a trip to Banff, which was a splendid antidote to a nasty case of cabin fever I’d been battling. Despite worrying that my beard might freeze upon stepping off the plane in Calgary—only a 90-minute drive from Banff!—the weather was pleasant and sunny.

The Gadget Guru is here to alert you to two travel apps you might want to download if you're heading to Los Angeles or hitting the slopes soon.

If you're anything like me, the last thing you want to be is the dork whipping out a map every five seconds on vacation. That's why I LOVE my Google Maps app on my iPhone. Hey, I might be checking my email for all you know, and not, ahem, looking for a store that's right behind me. But the Google Maps app is fairly bare bones when it comes to entertainment, so that's why I love fun travel map apps like the Celebrity Star Maps and iTrailMap.

I have many celeb sightings to my name, including Meryl Streep (getting into a taxi in New York), Michelle Obama (walking down the street towards me in San Francisco, flanked by Secret Service men who were escorting her into an Italian restaurant), and Dexter Holland from The Offspring (schmoozing it up in the Met Bar in London.) Okay, wait, maybe that last one doesn't really count. Dexter who?

Chaps, I have two words for you: Fried Butter.

When I heard they’d be serving it at the State Fair of Texas last weekend, I knew I had to pop over to Dallas and see what all the fuss was about. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, you say? Bah humbug! I defy you to try Fried Butter without swooning. And just for kicks, I had a slice of Fried Pizza too. Calories, schmalories. If fair food is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Jim: Dwight, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Dwight: I can travel anywhere, except Cuba, and I will travel to New Zealand and walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor and I will hike Mount Doom.

Even though Dwight may dream of traveling down under to bond with his Hobbit friends, there are plenty of sights to see right in his own backyard. In honor of The Office being back, I thought I'd do a round-up of the must-see (cough, cough) sights of the greater Scranton area.

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Hello chaps, it's the Roaming Gnome here!

You might have seen me on the television recently---if so, I'd like you to know that the camera really does add ten pounds. I'm that loveable travel scamp who's always roaming the world and finding smashing deals for people like you. Remember me? The pointy red hat should jog your memory.

Anyway, the editors of this fine blog, The Window Seat, have been terrific sports and are letting me pop in here to write a guest post about my summer vacation. You may have heard, you see, that I spent the summer gallivanting about the country, relying on America to vote where I should travel next, and updating my Facebook page and Twitter feed from each destination. Here are my seven favorite moments from the trip.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation by the Roaming Gnome

1. Got a tattoo in Chicago. Gosh, was that ouchy!

Is it bad that when I saw Monday’s post and read the phrase, “a reason to love Mondays,” my first thought was, “The Bachelorette!”?

Probably. But I feel a little less guilty about why I’m currently loving Monday nights when I think about the main reason behind my devotion to the reality TV show: getting a glimpse of the amazing locations featured each week.

The man who once said, “I’ll always be Peter Pan in my heart,” had enough money, at age 29, to realize his own personal Neverland. When Michael Jackson purchased 2,700 acres in Santa Barbara County’s Los Olivos hills, he set out to create a retreat where he’d never have to grow up. He populated the grounds with whimsical landscaping, wild animals, manufactured lakes, and even a steam-powered railroad.

For years, Michael Jackson lived there within a giant mansion overlooking Neverland Ranch’s various amusements, including a giant ferris wheel, a zoo (remember Bubbles the chimp?), a classic carousel, and a glorified tree house. He sprinkled the property with a video arcade and movie theater, tennis courts, and a clock made entirely of flowers. Then he opened up the doors of his ranch, and invited children in. And we all know what happened after that...