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Hallo there! It's the Roaming Gnome here. I just go back from a trip to Utah, and boy, do I have a recap for you. I started my trip at the Park City Black Diamond Lodge, did some marvelous skiing at Deer Valley, and got a bit of an adrenaline rush at the Park City Mountain Resort, where I rode the half-pipe with a real live Olympian and went on the Alpine Coaster (luckily, I was tall enough for the ride. As you can imagine, that’s been a bit of an issue in the past.) I went bobsledding at Utah Olympic Park, got stuck in some rather deep powder at Snowbird Resort, tried my hand at curling at the Olympic Oval, and played the social butterfly with some super apres-ski action at the High West Distillery and Saloon and the terrific Squatters Pub Brewery. Since I am also a man of great poise and culture, I also went to see the glorious Mormon Tabernacle Choir, took in a Utah Jazz game—the players are, quite literally, ten times the height of little old me---and practiced my Oscar acceptance speech in my leopard-print bathrobe, courtesy of the Hotel Monaco. Hey, a chap never knows when he’ll need to give an Oscar acceptance speech, you know. It’s good to be prepared.

A great big booming thank you to Ski Utah for a smashing weekend! Have a peek at my vacation snaps below, and let me know what you think. You can even book your own big trip to Utah here: there are some marvelous deals!h here: there are some marvelous deals!

Do you have any idea how much effort it takes to get one’s ski goggles on straight?

It’s awfully hard to eat the famous Deer Valley Turkey Chili with your arms cemented to your sides. Anyone got a napkin?

This is me riding the half-pipe, as the kids say. The speed demon on the right is a real life Olympian—jimminy crickets, he went fast!

Talk about hospitality: the chaps at the High West Distillery and Saloon made me my own sign. You know what they say: home is where the beer is.

Help! Help! Can anyone hear me? I appear to be sinking! (This was me at Snowbird, where the powder is deep, fluffy, and very, very cold.)

This is me and the Jazz Bear, the official mascot for the Utah Jazz. We both have quite spectacular beards.

The Brewmaster at Squatters Pub Brewery was obviously trying his best to look like me. What can I say? I’m a handsome devil.

Me and Raelene Davis of Ski Utah. Hallo, Raelene! I miss you already!

“I’d like to thank the Academy…..”