I never put "airport lines" on my Christmas list, and yet there they are every year, looming like an inexorable holiday fruitcake.

Well, this year--no more! I'm taking it upon myself to educate you in the ways of the speedy security line, and with the busiest travel time of the year looming large, I hope you'll take it upon yourself to learn. It beats dashing to your gate with your sneakers half-laced--speaking of which:

SHOES: If it ties, laces, buckles, or wraps, forget it. There may be a runway, but the airport's no catwalk--and the easier it is to take your shoes on and off, the better. This goes equally for riveted work boots and red Nancy Drew pumps.

LAPTOPS: Leave them at home, or opt for an X-ray-friendly laptop bag. They're inexpensive, good-looking, and you won't hold up the line while you fumble with your hardware.

Recently I discovered How I Met Your Mother, which means I was the second-to-last person on Earth to get obsessed with it. This show nails what it's like to be a young adult in the city. And so far my favorite episode has been "Murtaugh." In it, Ted says he has a list of things he is now too old to do, like pull an all-nighter or drink from a beer bong. The list is named after the main character in Lethal Weapon, Roger Murtaugh, who famously says, "I'm gettin' too old for this sh*t." But the item on Ted's Murtaugh List that resonated the most with me was: Crash on a friend's futon for the night instead of getting a hotel room.

My sister recently declined to come and visit me in San Francisco over New Year's despite the fact that I'd found her a round-trip fare from San Diego for the very attractive price of $109.  Did she have plans? Was it not in the budget? Are my parties so lame that no-one wants to come to them anymore?

Nope, none of those reasons. Instead it's this: she's scared of flying.

I'm sure we all know someone who's a nervous flier, so I'm here to pass along the good news: Virgin Atlantic has teamed up with Apple to offer its highly popular Flying Without Fear course---which has a 98% success rate---as an application for the iPhone and iPod Touch.

Ever wonder where that lost luggage of yours ended up? If you flew through PHX, it may be at this creepy couple's house. They were arrested this week for stealing more than 1,000 bags from Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. I got a call from channel 12 News in Phoenix to talk about how travelers can prevent this from happening to them. Even though it's tough to protect a bag that isn't in your possession, there are a few things you can do to make sure someone else doesn't claim your luggage.

When it comes to bad airplane seatmates, I thought I’d sat next to them all—drunkards, space invaders, restless leg-jigglers, shrieking babies, tantruming executives, loudmouths, and the dreaded unbathed. But in all my time on airplanes, I’ve never had to endure the gross-out horror of sitting next to someone dipping tobacco until this past Friday when I flew from Dallas to San Francisco.

It started right at boarding time. I’d already taken my window seat, and there he was getting on the plane, baseball cap on, looking to all the world like a nice-enough, normal-enough guy. He sat down next to me and immediately flagged the flight attendant, with an unusual request. He wanted a cup. Empty. She gave him a look, but then went and got him the cup, no questions asked.